My Funny Mayfair Valentine

  My Funny Mayfair Valentine

  A Marcia Banks and Buddy Mystery

  Kassandra Lamb

  a misterio press publication

  Contents

  OTHER BOOKS by KASSANDRA LAMB

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Epilogue

  Author’s Notes

  About the Author

  Published by misterio press LLC

  Cover art by Melinda VanLone, Book Cover Corner

  Photo credits: dog on cover, © by Radoslav Radev

  silhouette of woman and dog © by Majivecka (rights to use both purchased through dreamstime.com)

  Copyright © 2020 by Kassandra Lamb

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used, transmitted, stored, distributed or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the writer’s written permission, except very short excerpts for reviews. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or by any other means without the publisher’s/author’s express permission is illegal and punishable by law.

  My Funny Mayfair Valentine is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and most places are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Some real places may be used fictitiously. The town of Mayfair, Florida, and Collins and Crystal Counties are fictitious.

  The publisher does not have control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites and their content.

  OTHER BOOKS by KASSANDRA LAMB

  The Kate Huntington Mystery Series:

  MULTIPLE MOTIVES

  ILL-TIMED ENTANGLEMENTS

  FAMILY FALLACIES

  CELEBRITY STATUS

  COLLATERAL CASUALTIES

  ZERO HERO

  FATAL FORTY-EIGHT

  SUICIDAL SUSPICIONS

  ANXIETY ATTACK

  POLICE PROTECTION

  The Kate on Vacation Novellas:

  An Unsaintly Season in St. Augustine

  Cruel Capers on the Caribbean

  Ten-Gallon Tensions in Texas

  Missing on Maui

  The Marcia Banks and Buddy Mysteries:

  To Kill A Labrador

  Arsenic and Young Lacy

  The Call of the Woof

  A Mayfair Christmas Carol

  Patches in the Rye

  The Legend of Sleepy Mayfair

  The Sound and the Furry

  A Star-Spangled Mayfair

  Lord of the Fleas

  My Funny Mayfair Valentine

  Unintended Consequences

  Romantic Suspense Stories:

  (written under the pen name, Jessica Dale)

  Payback

  Backlash

  Backfire

  (coming 2021)

  Bartered Innocence

  (coming 2020)

  Chapter One

  The year 2020 was off to a very bad start.

  And I’m not talking about the rumblings of a new virus rampaging through China and infiltrating Europe.

  Nor were the dramas playing out closer to home primarily responsible for 2020’s candidacy in the worst-year-ever competition. Yes, my new assistant trainer-in-training was turning out to be a pain in the wazoo. And yes, my husband was struggling with a life-changing decision.

  But the main reason this year was off to a rocky start was the woman who had taken up semi-permanent residence in our guest room.

  My mother.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. But I’d always assumed she would stay up in Maryland, where she’d lived all her life and where my brother and her only grandchildren were located.

  Then she’d paid me a surprise visit last Thanksgiving. And she’d met a man while she was here. So she’d come down to Florida again for Christmas.

  Now, it was the end of January and she was still here.

  I was trying to get used to the idea of my mother dating. I guess it was time. My dad had been gone for eight years now, and I wanted her to be happy.

  But I did not want her in my guest room.

  I’d developed the habit of going early to the barn—excuse me, the Mayfair Riding Stable—even when it wasn’t my turn to feed the horses and muck out the stalls. Which it wasn’t today. It was Susanna Mayfair’s turn.

  But nonetheless, I got there first, with Buddy, my Black Lab-Rottie mix, in tow. I was desperate for any excuse to get away from Mom for a while.

  I’d already spent some quality time with my mare Niña and was doling out the feed to the half-dozen residents of the stable, when Susanna arrived.

  “Hey, Marcia.” She greeted me with a way-too-cheerful-for-this-early smile on her fair, mostly wrinkle-free face. “Did I get things mixed up? Were you s’posed to feed today?”

  “Nope, just couldn’t sleep,” I fibbed.

  Susanna peeked into the stall of her miniature horse, Queenie. The little palomino was munching away on her grain. “Well, thanks for feeding.”

  “No problem.” I lingered in the barn’s aisle while Susanna wielded a pitchfork and tackled the stalls. She was maybe an inch shorter than my five-foot-six, and the physical labor performed at the stable had toned her muscles.

  The extra activity of working at the barn—built a little over a year ago—had slimmed me down some as well. Although my hips remained a dress size larger than the rest of me.

  Susanna whistled softly under her breath as she worked, her strawberry-blonde-mixed-with-gray curls bouncing to the tune.

  I wondered at how upbeat she was, despite having spent several decades of her life essentially incarcerated. Her well-meaning father had been led to believe she was incurably depressed and had secretly committed her to an institution, then told the family she was dead. Will and I had found her two years ago last fall, over-medicated but otherwise okay.

  “Come on,” I said, as she finished up the last of her chores. “I’ll treat you to breakfast at the diner.”

  Susanna flashed me a grin. “I’m always up for Jess’s scrambled eggs. I swear she sprinkles them with fairy dust.”

  Jess Randall, the Mayfair Diner’s owner, was used to me and Buddy popping in before opening time on the days I had stable duty. But today, as Susanna, Buddy and I entered the diner, she raised one eyebrow at me.

  “I know, not my day. Could you bring us some scrambled eggs and bacon out back?” Out back, as in to one of the wooden picnic tables behind the diner, placed there for people like me who take their dogs with them pretty much everywhere they go.

  With the Florida sun shining down, even on a January morning, it would be pleasant enough back there.

  “Sure, but why are you up early when you don’t need to be?” The diminutive Jess, swathed in her usual white chef’s jacket, was giving me a skeptical look. She knew I was not a morning person by nature.

  “One word—Mom.”

  Jess gave me a sympathetic smile. “Two scrambled egg platters coming up. With extra bacon for Buddy.”

  Susanna and I pivoted toward the door. Buddy stirred himself from where he’d laid down at my feet.

  Lisa, Jess’s sole waitress, had walked over to flip the Open/Closed sign around. She’d barely let go of the sign when the door swung open.

  An e
lderly gentleman in a black business suit stepped through it. Susanna startled a little beside me.

  The man was average height and build, with a thick thatch of white hair and a ruddy face that shone with enthusiasm. He extended his hand toward Lisa. “Ah, Ms. Randall, we finally meet. I’m Samuel Truman.”

  Lisa stepped back. “Who?”

  Jess moved forward to shake his hand. “I’m Jessica Randall. Welcome to Mayfair, Mr. Truman.”

  I glanced at Susanna. The surprise on her face echoed my own. A Samuel Truman had purchased Jess’s house in Mayfair a year ago, but this was the first time he’d shown his face in town.

  What Susanna didn’t know was that Truman had paid cash. Not a cashier’s check or even a personal one—he’d sent his representative to settlement with a briefcase full of cash.

  Jess hadn’t questioned it at the time. She was eager to invest the proceeds from the sale of her house into the purchase of a farm with her fiancé.

  But now… She and I exchanged a glance. We had become suspicious of cash-filled briefcases since then, having found several hidden on the farm after her fiancé’s death last summer.

  Jess introduced me to Mr. Truman.

  He extended his hand again, with a charming smile. “A pleasure to meet you.”

  I shook it, eyeing Susanna in my peripheral vision. Being isolated from normal society for so long had left her timid with strangers and prone toward anxiety in social situations.

  I gave her a you-can-do-this smile. “This is Susanna Mayfair.”

  She lifted a limp hand waist high, as if not sure whether to offer to shake or not.

  He took her hand in his and raised it toward his lips. “Charmed. Are you the founder of this fair city?” His lips brushed her fingers.

  Susanna shivered and, for a moment, resembled a frightened deer.

  Then she surprised the heck out of me by giggling. Her blue eyes shone. And her cheeks flushed a becoming rosy pink.

  “No, Mr. Truman, that would be my Aunt Edna, and my late father.”

  “Oh please, call me Tru. That’s what my friends call me.” His grin split his face now, and he hadn’t let go of her fingers.

  Ms. Snark—my name for the snarky part of me that I try to keep in check—rolled her eyes inside my head. Is this guy for real?

  Susanna seemed to think so. She dropped her gaze and looked at him through a veil of curly bangs. Was she fluttering her eyelashes at him?

  Hard to tell, since she wasn’t wearing any makeup. One doesn’t usually doll up to muck stalls. Speaking of which, she didn’t smell so good either.

  Neither of us did. I was also makeup-less, which meant my freckles were showing. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a piece of straw stuck in my long auburn hair. I turned away to discreetly finger-comb it out of there.

  For once, I found myself agreeing with Ms. Snark. This guy could not find us all that appealing under the current circumstances. Therefore, he was probably up to something.

  No good, most likely. My inner mom this time.

  Jess was asking the man if he was getting settled in okay.

  “Just fine.” He squeezed Susanna’s fingers and finally let them go. “I’m quite used to moving. I’ve been searching for a girl-next-door all my life, so I move every few months, trying to find her.”

  A weird little pause, then Jess smiled and Susanna giggled again. I pasted on a smile, even though the joke was pretty lame.

  “Hmm, I can see you all are a tough audience,” he said.

  “You’re not from the South, are you, Mr. Truman?” I said. It’s hard to tell sometimes by accent alone.

  “Call me Tru,” he reminded me, “and also true, I am not a Southern gentleman, although I believe I might have been in a previous lifetime. I’m from Pennsylvania.”

  I gave him a more genuine smile. “I’m from Maryland.”

  “Are you any relation to President Harry Truman?” Susanna asked, her slight Cracker accent a bit more prominent than usual. “My mama adored him. He came to Mayfair once, after he was out of office. He stayed at my Aunt Edna’s motel.”

  First I’d heard of that.

  “My mother adored him as well. That’s how–” He stopped abruptly and ran a hand over his white hair.

  What’s that about? Ms. Snark asked internally.

  But Susanna hadn’t seemed to notice the awkward pause. She was still talking, more animated than I’d seen her in a long time. “He was headed for the Keys, but he and his bodyguards had to stop here, because Mr. Truman was feelin’ poorly. I was only a little girl and didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Mama and Aunt Edna were beside themselves, they were so excited.”

  Truman leaned down slightly, creating a subtle intimacy with Susanna. “I must meet this Aunt Edna of yours,” he said, with yet another charming smile.

  Keep sniffing around her niece like that, Ms. Snark commented internally, and you’ll meet her real quick.

  I’d gotten an egg and bacon sandwich to go for Will. He was working a new case, a series of armed robberies in the western end of Marion County.

  These days, I held my breath every time he left for his job as a major crimes detective for the county sheriff’s department. He’d had to shoot a murder suspect a few months ago. There’d been no choice since the guy was trying to shoot him at the time. But the perp—as Will calls them—had ended up paralyzed as a result. Now guilt had Will seriously rethinking if he wanted to stay in law enforcement. And I was terrified that the experience would cause him to hesitate at some crucial moment and he’d get himself killed.

  He had come home late last night to catch some sleep and should be getting up about now.

  But the house was quiet, a piece of paper propped up between the salt and pepper shakers on the breakfast bar. I’d missed him.

  The note said, I hope to be home for dinner. Love, Will.

  P.S. Try not to kill your mother.

  “Hello-oo.” Said mother’s voice coming from behind the door to my training center, aka my former house, which also contained our guest suite.

  I hastily crumpled the note.

  The pocket door between the two spaces rolled open. Mom held a crumb-covered small plate. “Hope you don’t mind. I helped myself to some toast.”

  “Of course, not. You’re welcome to whatever we have on hand.”

  “Speaking of which, the larder over here is getting a little bare.” She was referring to my old kitchen on the back of the training center, where I mostly kept snacks, lunch makings, and dog treats.

  Mildly annoyed because I’d told her this before, I said, “You can help yourself to anything in our kitchen as well.” I swept my arm to indicate the modern kitchen, which was part of the twenty-by-forty-foot addition Will and I’d had built to connect our two former next-door-to-each-other houses.

  Mom gave me a sweet smile. “Perhaps we can grocery shop today.”

  I grimaced. A grocery shopping trip with her meant she would put healthy stuff in the cart that we wouldn’t normally eat, and then we’d have to eat it later and pretend to like it. And at the checkout, she would insist on paying the whole tab. We’d argue and I’d finally give in, feeling guilty and resentful.

  “It’ll have to be tomorrow morning,” I said. “Carla’s coming over today to work with me and Bear.”

  “Speaking of Bear, I let her out.”

  Crapola. “Did she jump up on you?”

  “No,” Mom said, but she averted her eyes.

  I gritted my teeth and counted to five. “Mom, we’re trying to break her of that. I really don’t want you handling her at all.”

  “She needed to go out.”

  “She can wait until I get back from the barn. She’s not going to go in her crate.”

  Of course, normally I would have let Bear out before I went to the barn. But that would have required going into the training center and possibly waking Mom up in the adjacent guest room—and then I would’ve had to interact with her, defeating m
y reason for getting up early in the first place.

  Mom had moved to the breakfast bar and sat on a stool, patting the one beside her. “Um, I need to talk to you about something.”

  Wary, I sat down. “Want this?” I put the wrapped sandwich down in front of her. “I got it for Will, but he’s gone already.”

  She shook her head, her eyes more worried than I’d seen them in a while.

  Is she ill? My stomach roiled, threatening to give back the delicious breakfast I’d just eaten.

  She placed a small object on the granite countertop and nudged it toward me. The track lights above us glinted off a clear stone. Set on a gold band.

  Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. Was that what I thought it was?

  “Clint asked me to marry him.”

  I tried again to take a deep breath. A vise had closed around my chest.

  “But we talked to an accountant,” Mom went on, “about setting up some trust funds for you kids. He suggested–”

  “Trust funds?” I managed to get out.

  “Yes. Clint’s got two kids and five grandchildren, plus two stepchildren, and their kids.”

  “Stepchildren?” First I’d heard of all that. “I thought he was a widower?”

  “He and his first wife divorced. He remarried and it’s his second wife who died, twenty years later. She had two kids herself, from a previous marriage.” Mom paused, took a deep breath. “So the accountant is suggesting that we not get married. It would be a royal mess when one of us dies.”

  My heart rate kicked up a notch. Butterflies danced in my stomach.

  I wasn’t sure what was bothering me more—the thought of my mother dying, or of her remarrying, or of the complications if she remarried and then died.